Review: Everything Must Go

Everything Must Go by Camille Pagán
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I wish I had enjoyed this a bit more!  In theory, the plot works.  Laine is a professional organizer who, at the age of 38, experiences an epiphany of sorts—she wants a baby and her biological clock is ticking louder than a cheap Timex.  Unfortunately, her husband Josh has little interest in expanding the family beyond the two of them.  Moments after telling Josh she wants a divorce, Laine gets a phone call from her sister who impresses upon Laine how important it is for her to come home to New York to help make some long term decisions about their mother’s care, as she is showing increasing signs of dementia.  Home, for Laine, however, holds keys to the past that she isn’t sure she wants to revisit.  There’s her ex BFF Ben and the remnants of a people-pleasing past that she left behind 16 years prior—and both threaten to at once undo her and offer her salvation.

The characters here are supposed to be multi-faceted and on a quest toward self-awareness.  Instead, I found each to be incredibly self-centered, not to mention a little whiny.  The emotional angst that should and usually does accompany many of the life-changing moments in the book is just….absent.  Laine bounces from one relationship to the next with the ease of a child on a trampoline, ending her marriage, confronting her mother and re-engaging with a former friend who has the potential to make things better or a whole lot worse.  She just seems indifferent and emotionally detached.  Those moments when the author does attempt to imbue her with compassion and feeling fall flat, and the reader is left little with which to connect.

There were jumping off points here with the potential for author Camille Pagan to make sweeping statements about everything from single motherhood to racial bias.  Rather than exploring these. Pagan waltzes past them with all the grace of a bull in a china shop.  

All in all, it’s a mediocre quick read that is comprised of a series of strung together events with little emotional impact.

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Review: Black Tide

Black Tide by K.C. Jones
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Reading Black Tide by KC Jones felt like tripping through the imagination of Lewis Carroll as he directed Alice down the rabbit hole. Suddenly reality is skewed and the experience is as if seen through a lens of drug induced hallucinations.

Jones begins with an introduction to Beth—a young woman with a tough as nails exterior and battle scars that hover beneath the surface, coloring her every action and interaction. She is, by necessity, a wanderer, moving from one house sitting job to the next, untethered and uninhibited, with the haunting memories of her mother’s callous parenting chasing her from behind. One evening, while house sitting a beach home and a dog for a wealthy family she notices Mike, the enigmatic man next door, sitting by his fire pit. She finagles an invitation to join him, and their fates collide when that night an unprecedented and unexplained event causes a variety of vicious monsters to suddenly appear on earth—and a variety of earthlings to simply…disappear.

It is in the description of the hellacious alien creatures that author Jones shines, as the horror of each practically drips from the page and into the reader’s psyche. The suspension of disbelief needed to engage with the premise is seamless and occurs without hesitation—truly the hallmark of a writer who knows their audience. As cloud fish, shriekers and bowling ball entities shred the world as we know it to pieces, Jones maintains the banter that forms the basis of the budding relationship between Beth and Mike as they struggle to survive and save one another.

In the same way that the descriptive passages are the strength of the writing, the relationship building aspects of the story are the weakness. Whilst you don’t have to like characters to invest in the story, one does need to have an interest in their predicament and the eventual outcome. In this case, both Beth and Mike were so flawed as to be almost acerbic in their interactions. I had no horse in the race as to whether or not they survived, which tempered my reaction to a number of the presented scenarios. I was completely indifferent to the outcome.

Overall, well written and imaginative, full of vivid imagery that may leave you with nightmares for many days to come. Definitely worth a read for the monsters alone.

Thanks to NetGalley and MacMillan Tor/Forge for allowing me access to an ARC. Publication is scheduled for May 31, 2022.

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Review: Tender is the Flesh

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I read this based on some good reviews on Amazon and, once again, was hoodwinked.  The story here has good bones, and Bazterrica had an opportunity to make some bold statements.  Instead, however, the reader is treated to vividly descriptive death porn that is simply too over the top to be in any way enjoyable.  Before you label me a prude, consider that I really thought Sick Bastards was well done.  See?  I do have a high tolerance for aberrant behaviors shared to further the plot of an actual story.

The novel is almost expository in nature, detailing contemporary slaughterhouses and how they function in the not so distant future.   Facilities once used to process cattle, pigs and chickens for consumption have had to be renovated for a whole new kind of killing, as, in a long game to control overpopulation, the government has convinced the world that animals carry a deadly virus.  Once all dogs have been euthanized or beat to death, zoo animals have been starved, and birds have been demonized, the government endorses cannibalism to encourage “protein intake”.  The idea of humans for food is slowly introduced into society, and the slaughterhouses morph into killing fields for human beings whose offal, skins and organs are processed and ultimately enjoyed by the wealthy and elite.  Men, women and children (called head), of all walks of life and a variety of “flavors”, are grown to desired specs, then led to a staging area where they are stunned and their throats are slit.  From there, they are bled dry, flayed, shaved, and relieved of their organs and limbs. The entire sequence is shared in gory detail.  The plot that hovers beneath these disconcerting images focuses on a slaughterhouse employee who seeks to salve his grief after losing a child.  I found it to be shallow, ill-conceived and poorly executed—and I didn’t give a whit about one single character in this house of horrors. 

I will not be returning to any of this author’s work.  The nausea from this one is likely to linger long enough to last a lifetime.

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Review: The Match

The Match by Harlan Coben
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Whilst this may not be the best of what Coben has to offer, it’s a compelling read that follows on the heels of The Boy from the Woods.  In this volume, Wilde is back and on the trail of who may possibly be his biological parents.  

Those familiar with the private and guarded Wilde will certainly be pleased to note the consistent character continuity in both his level of introspection and in the relationships surrounding him.  Laila, Hester and Michael are all woven into the plot, and it must be said that I believe this novel to be far more enjoyable if one has read Whilst this may not be the best of what Coben has to offer, it’s a compelling read that follows on the heels of The Boy from the Woods.  In this volume, Wilde is back and on the trail of who may possibly be his biological parents.  

Those familiar with the private and guarded Wilde will certainly be pleased to note the consistent character continuity in both his level of introspection and in the relationships surrounding him.  Laila, Hester and Michael are all woven into the plot, and it must be said that I believe this novel to be far more enjoyable if one has read The Boy from the Woods in order to fully appreciate the supporting cast.  There are countless references and allusions to things that happened between those first pages, and I fear anyone not “in the know” may suffer from not being a part of the inner circle.  In spite of Coben’s attempts to allow enough background to seep in via dialogue and retrospective memories, there just isn’t enough here to stand alone.

One aspect of The Match that was particularly disappointing was that there were so many loose ends.  I actually had more questions after reading than I did beforehand, and I didn’t feel that my level of investment in the book was adequately rewarded when the final page was turned.

In spite of the shortcomings, however, this remains a solid 4 stars.  Look, Coben sets his own bar against which much of the writing out there pales miserably. In comparison to his other work, this is not representative of his best. In comparison to the work of others, however, Coben continues to lead the pack. in order to fully appreciate the supporting cast.  There are countless references and allusions to things that happened between those first pages, and I fear anyone not “in the know” may suffer from not being a part of the inner circle.  In spite of Coben’s attempts to allow enough background to seep in via dialogue and retrospective memories, there just isn’t enough here to stand alone.

One aspect of The Match that was particularly disappointing was that there were so many loose ends.  I actually had more questions after reading than I did beforehand, and I didn’t feel that my level of investment in the book was adequately rewarded when the final page was turned.

In spite of the shortcomings, however, this remains a solid 4 stars.  Look, Coben sets his own bar against which much of the writing out there pales miserably. In comparison to his other work, this is not representative of his best. In comparison to the work of others, however, Coben continues to lead the pack.

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Review: Family Money

Family Money by Chad Zunker
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Family Money, authored by Chad Zunker, is a prime example of a great idea executed in quite mediocre fashion.

The story is that of Alex Mahan and his father-in-law Joe Dobson, a retired attorney. The two share a unique relationship, forged as Joe stepped into the role of father-figure when Alex’s father died. Alex was just sixteen and had been dating Joe’s daughter, Taylor, and while Alex had always respected Joe, it was the strength he gave to Alex at what was possibly the worst time of the boy’s young life that solidified their bond. Eventually, Alex and Taylor married, and Joe and his wife Carol became the consummate in-laws, then grandparents. When Alex struggled to get his own company off the ground, Joe stepped in and loaned Alex five million dollars in start-up capital. Alex’s success thereafter was something he insisted would never have happened without Joe’s support. When the entire family (Alex, Taylor, their two young daughters, Joe and Carol) travels across the border from Texas to Mexico on a humanitarian mission to assist an orphanage in need of funding and repairs, Joe is kidnapped, in broad daylight on a busy street. Alex then embarks on a journey to discover the truth behind Joe’s disappearance and discovers he may not have known his father-in-law at all. As the story unfolds, Joe’s past unravels and decades-old secrets are exposed.

The plot is clever and takes the reader on a journey through Joe’s life through Alex’s eyes. There were well-delineated flashbacks that made the time travel from present to past seamless. Some of the events, however, stretched my willingness to suspend disbelief and disengaged me from the story. Characters were primarily portrayed as noble and honest—willing to risk not only their careers for one another, but also their lives. In light of the secrets that were revealed, however, there were numerous contradictions in the way those characters responded and behaved. Not only were the characters’ actions completely implausible, so were entire scenes. It’s difficult to provide examples without spoilers, but suffice it to say that I found myself simply shaking my head on more than one occasion and mumbling “he would NEVER do that”, and “you’ve got to be kidding”.

Additionally, the language here is very bland. There are few visuals to bring interest to the story—settings are vague, character descriptions generic and the dialogue is very “run of the mill”, the latter of which was most disturbing. I just didn’t find any character development achieved through dialects, speech patterns, word choice, etc. With the exception of some Spanish phrases, each person seemed to be reading a script that refused to differentiate them. Instead of individuals with unique personalities, Zunker created a collective that moved together through the story. It seemed a very Gestalt way to approach the plot, as the whole became greater than the sum of its parts. The characters were never individuals, they were simply part of the extended Mahan-Dobson family unit, outside of which people were expendable and extraneous.

In the end, the book had its merits, primarily in the storyline. Without strong, well-written characters and lively dialogue to bring it to fruition, however, my final reaction was simply “meh”.

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Review: Panic Slowly: A Tomato Soup-Soaked Pandemic Thriller

Panic Slowly: A Tomato Soup-Soaked Pandemic Thriller by Steven Bayley
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

First, I have to confess to never having read any of Steven Bayley’s previous work. If this novel is any indication of the quality, however, it’s probably a good thing, as I’m sure my review will certainly not be very well received in the land of All-Things-Bayley.

Let’s start with the positives. This will be a short paragraph. Look, Bayley can write, and he does so with a poison pen that is sharp and takes no prisoners. It is the satirical wit that flows from that pen that keeps the pages turning. His style is informal and millennial, and the voice created is one that is easy to “hear”. Second, the plot is brilliant. Bayley uses the current Covid outbreak as a foundation upon which he builds a bigger, more horrific virus that leaves in its wake a trail of chaos. 80% of those infected live through the illness with a side effect of incredibly violent predilections, though 2% of the infected recover with no noticeable side effects. As the 2%ers struggle to survive, the “eighties” wreak havoc, and the few uninflected quarantine in small, exclusives groups and self-proclaimed militias. As is often the case, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the road to perdition for humanity is littered with those who mismanage available assets and rule with iron fists that are tightly clasped around handfuls of greed.

Now for the part that drove me to distraction. Seriously. The story is set in Atlanta, and features characters who are very “American” and even bleed red, white and blue. For some unknown reason, however, these Georgia peaches and out-of-state transplants use COLLOQUIAL BRITISH/AUSTRALIAN  ENGLISH. They toss about words like “gobsmacked” and “cunt”; they go to “hospital” instead of “the hospital”; things are “wee” rather than “little”; and “belts and braces”is apparently an attempt to sound “down home”. They say things like “I was bloody impressed” and “how many of these bloody things were there?” They even call one another “mate”. Each instance of this blatant oversight on the part of the author made me want to scream, so that by the time I reached the final page, I was ready to unleash my pent up tension on the first thing that crossed my path. I apologize to Tybalt, my bengal, who sauntered in just as I was closing the Kindle.

Look, I tried to apply some deep philosophical bent to the whole thing, projecting that these were intentional choices meant to intensify the universality of the virus and the global nature of what remained of the world. Yeah, it didn’t work for me either. I am, myself, “gobsmacked” that the author’s editor let this go to print. Did he/she really not notice?? Is there ANY American who read this and did not notice?? Two stars, and that’s just because I’m nice.

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Review: The Impossible Us

The Impossible Us by Sarah Lotz
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Impossible Us by author Sarah Lotz is a quirky, fun, heart-breaking sci-fi rom-com that bursts at the seams with originality. I usually inhale books like oxygen, racing through the pages in record time. Here, however, I found myself savoring the moment and wishing the pages would stretch into eternity.

Nick and Bee meet online when Nick accidentally misdirects a scathing message meant to go to a client who hasn’t compensated him for ghost writing a novel. Bee, a seamstress who repurposes wedding wear, receives the missive and responds, thus beginning one of the most beautiful and frustrating love stories ever penned. Back and forth they banter, until finally they both agree it’s time to remove their blindfolds and meet in person. Clearly they are soul mates who have finally found one another. When both arrive at Euston Station for their first encounter, they are unable to connect, in spite of the fact that they are texting in real-time, both insisting they are in the exact same location. Bee is convinced she is being ghosted, but Nick feels there are forces at work that neither of them fully understand. When they finally compare notes, it’s clear that they WERE both at Euston Station—in parallel worlds. Somehow a glitch in the mesh between their worlds has allowed them to connect electronically. Both quickly realize that trading barbs via the internet will never be enough. The novel follows their love story as it unfolds, and the two reach out, grasping only the space that separates them, as they are forced to acknowledge that sometimes even soul mates aren’t guaranteed a future.

First and foremost, the plot is incredibly clever. Melding romance and quantum physics is no small feat, yet Lotz pulls it off with aplomb. Her use of brilliant character development in advance of the parallel world twist is nothing short of genius, as it first allows the reader to establish an investment in Bee and Nick. In doing so, if the reader wants the relationship to continue, it is imperative to suspend disbelief and accept the premise. The investment pays off in ways both large and small, as Lotz delivers barriers and obstacles against a backdrop of a profound connection between the truly star-crossed lovers. As the book winds it’s way to a conclusion, the reader experiences sadness and joy, rooting for the impossible and hoping for a Hail Mary pass.

I cannot recommend this novel strongly enough. Set aside a few hours, find a comfy chair in front of a fireplace or a quiet spot on the beach, and allow yourself to be whisked away on a romantic adventure that will leave you with both smiles and tears.

Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for allowing me access to an ARC for review. The scheduled date for publication is March 22, 2022.

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